THE GUARDIAN - I refuse to pay for someone to assemble it for me, so I am stuck going through this cycle of emotions until I learn to accept my shoddy handiwork
It seems I have a screw loose – which is extremely annoying, because I spent the bulk of my weekend screwing. I recently moved into a bigger place, you see, and have had to buy furniture. I’m far too cheap to pay someone competent to put the stuff together (all furniture – at least the stuff I can afford – appears to come in 1,000 little pieces), so I have been attempting to do it myself.
My wife helped with the weekend assembly efforts, I should add; this wasn’t a solo endeavour. But we are very bad lesbians. According to a YouGov survey, 77% of queer women in the US said they could build flatpack furniture, compared with 58% of heterosexual men and 48% of straight women. I am part of the terrible 23%, though. As I have written before, my dire DIY skills mean I’m an embarrassment to lesbians everywhere. Continue reading...
